drawings, rants, and everything else in between.

tsk
Category: Slice of Life   2 Comments  
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It sucks so much to be me right now. I'm torn apart between my own family. There's this part that wants to simply forgive and the other part that clings onto ten years' worth of aloofness. There's the part that wants to please everyone and the part that just wants everyone to be reunited again, impossible as that is. It really sucks to be me right now.
Thoughts on love.
Category: Slice of Life   0 Comments  

Rain by Patty Griffin

It's hard to listen to a hard hard heart / Beating close to mine / Pounding up against the stone and steel / Walls that I won't climb / Sometimes a hurt is so deep, deep, deep / You think that you're gonna drown / Sometimes all I can do is weep, weep, weep / With all this rain falling down

*Strange how hard it rains now / Rows and rows of big dark clouds / When I'm holding on underneath this shroud / Rain~

Its hard to know when to give up the fight / Some things you want will just never be right / Its never rained like it has tonight before / Now I don't wanna beg you, baby / For something maybe you could never give / I'm not looking for the rest of your life / I just want another chance to live
**

Strange how hard it rains now / Rows and rows of big dark clouds / When I'm still alive underneath this shroud / Rain Rain Rain //


_______

I've been listening to this song over and over for the past couple of days and I only just realized what I like so much about it.

It's unrequited love. It's the one-sided kind that's painful and yet you can't do anything about it for the simple reason that it's love. So it gives and gives some more until it collapses upon itself because there isn't anymore left. But there is still actually more to give. Because that's the human condition - it doesn't run out of love. You can love someone without being loved in return. It's the purest and maybe, the truest form of love. But the human condition demands to be loved back. So you try to get by each day, trapped within the confines of your own emotions - the kind of cage that you cannot escape because you have built them around yourself unsuspectingly. Giving a little more love until it runs out and gets replenished - a cycle that runs on itself.. But then, enough soon becomes enough, and you learn to pull yourself up over the mess. You break free and gather the pieces of yourself and start over again. And you wake up one day and suddenly, everything is alright - the past isn't as painful as you remember it to be. And then you get ready to love again, comforted by the fact that even if it happens again, you'll survive it. Because that is what being alive means.

Isn't that so comforting and beautiful?
Internet Drama
Category: Slice of Life   2 Comments  
I told myself I'd be returning to dA and I even cleared up my messages just so I wouldn't feel the need to slink away like a snake whenever I logged on. But then, I encountered one of the worst kind of drama: Internet Drama.

It started when I got to chat with a dA friend and she told me that they were leaving the group they were currently in because bossy people supposedly took over the club.

so why did the group even split up in the first place? The news that got to me was that the bossy people took over the club of their friend, not listening to her suggestions for the club, eventually kicking her out of the council etc etc. Like I said, internet drama.

One of the supposedly bossy people is also my dA friend but then a lot of my friends from the group were leaving for the new one so I might as well go along and belong to both groups. Why not, right?

WRONG. It was the worst decision I made in that situation, coward that I am, wanting to please everyone.

While I was thinking up the right way to ask the "bossy people" what happened, I got a note from my friend from that group, asking if I'm mad at her and if I'm leaving the group too. She also told me her side of the story. This was when I made the second worst decision I could have made. I left both groups. It just proves how much of a coward I am since I just don't want to piss anyone off by taking sides.

I left a message to my friend in the new group afterwards saying I won't be taking sides.

After I left, I thought it over and I remember that the original founder once made a blog entry in the group saying that she was leaving the decision making or stuff of that sort to the rest of the council because she's too busy to handle the group then. So I got really confused since she made that blog entry and all. It simply doesn't connect in my mind. e_o;

I asked my friend from the "bossy people group" and she said she deleted said blog entry because she wanted the original founder to come back to the council.

So I rejoined the original group. I know that my friend wasn't lying about the taking over thing not being true. I also feel bad for doubting her for a bit and not defending her. I should have. I've known her the most out of all the people in the group, out of dA. I know she has a strong personality and I admire her for it and I know she doesn't lie because she calls a spade a spade even if it hurts to hear it.

So I went back on my decision and rejoined the first group. I got a note from my friend in the other group saying she wishes I have fun in the group. Those words make me feel sad. I'm sorry for going back on my decision but rejoining PA is the only way I can make it up to my friend.

God, internet drama. I hate it.
More than I hate drawing Shizu-chan
what's up with me?
Category: Slice of Life   1 Comments  
I haven't updated in so long.

So, my beloved Sony Ericsson phone died. D8 I got a new one and it's love. It's lollipop cousin is prettier but feature-wise they're mostly the same so I settled for the ice cream.

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My brother is got a desktop too. :D That means I can put adobe in it and sims 3 too, since I'm taking advantage of it's quadcore processor. :D

A couple of weeks from now, I have my IntraVenous Therapy seminar. After attending it, I can get my license to insert IV lines and inject people and do blood transfusions. 8D I'm excited since I'm adept at needles and I find them fun. I just hope I can get the IV insertion thing right. OTL so for the next week, I'll be memorizing this little booklet of procedures for the return demonstration on the last day which will determine my grade for the seminar. 8D;

so I'm facing a couple weeks of study, study, study, with some periods on drawing and writing in between. The rest is for playing sims. 8D

Woohoo~! no pun intended
Wow. Some people can be so mean
Category: Slice of Life   2 Comments  
You know what I think? I think Art/Drawing (and I guess writing and everything else in general) and posting it on the internet is not about getting comments/faves/likes/reviews and whatnot. You do it because you like doing it, you're having fun doing it and THAT'S all that matters.

And you know what else? That is what I do. I don't care about comments, I don't care about reviews/faves or all those stuff. I don't ask for them and never will. I'm happy when people do it voluntarily. But I'm doing this because I like it but I have no vital need for such things.. Sure comments are nice, criticism is really helpful and feedback helps me improve.

But you know what else? There are some people who cannot just let things go. I've been civil about it even after getting the same shit a lot of times but I'm just really pissed right now, having seen something like that first thing in the morning.

I mean, WHY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMMENTING. But seriously? Why is it that some people can only see the bad things in your picture? I'm not much of a critic but I am very sure that THAT is not constructive criticism at all. Constructive criticism I can live with, actually I appreciate that very much. It helps me grow and improve. But if the comment is said tactlessly... dude you're bound to piss someone off soon.

constructive criticism: I Like the way you *did this to the* picture. I've always been a fan of *this*. But I see that you have a problem drawing *this part* and I suggest *doing this and this* to help improve.

UNconstructive criticism: I think you *did this* wrong.

That's just not right. :/

PSH.
BAH.
CHE.

whatever. Glad I got that out my chest.

WOW. This was long.
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Tangerine-Doll

Author:Tangerine-Doll
Hallo~ I'm TD and I like to draw. A LOT.

I've been drawing for about a year now which makes me a hopeless newb.
I'm a self-taught artist and my improvement may be slow but I'm doing all that I can to improve at my own pace.

So this blog is where I shall post most of my art in.

Feel free to browse and send me a message. I'd love to hear from you~ <3

Pleased to meet you and I hope you enjoy your stay!

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